WELLNESS WEALTH KENYA

The truth is, you are not the only one struggling with a self-sabotaging mindset. Most people are aware of the potential and the strides they can make in their professional and personal lives but never seem to actualize them. The dissatisfaction and disappointments resulting from this are very discouraging and frustrating. We go our entire lives wanting a particular lifestyle, and in most cases, we know what to do to achieve our actualized selves, but only a few seem to reach it. In exemption of external factors that hinders us from attaining this highest self lies a massive iceberg of internal personal attitudes, habits, and rituals that play a very crucial role in whether we achieve them or not.

What is a self-sabotaging mindset?
Self-sabotage refers to a set of conscious and subconscious attributes that act as barriers and blocks to achieving our highest selves.
The mindset stems from several external and internal conditions originating from conception. When you were in your mother’s womb, attitudes and emotions from her daily life still significantly influenced the person you are today. Scientific evidence has consistently proven that a baby in the womb will be startled when the mother yells at the husband. Consequently, based on the neurochemical reaction experienced by the mother may, in most cases, result in the child even before birth developing anxiety issues.
If you look at the attitudes you hold towards money and wealth, you will discover that they are directly linked to the verbal and practical experiences growing up. For example, if you were brought up in a very religious home and often “The Love of Money is the Root of All Evil heard the phrase “money is the root of all evil,” the chances are that you hold a negative perception of it, which directly affects your money retention habit. Similarly, a better understanding of the link between work and wealth has undoubtedly shaped some of our adults’ work ethics.
Indicators of a self-sabotaging mindset and how to change them
There are several subconscious and conscious self-defeating behavior and signs to look for while trying to pinpoint the various things that pose barriers to your personal and professional achievements. These are inclusive of but are not limited to negative self-talk, perfectionism, avoidance, procrastination, and conflict.

Self-criticism
In most cases, when you judge other peoples’ accomplishments, you are very generous in praising them and how far they have come in their personal and career lives. However, when it comes to your accomplishments, you tend to downplay them as insignificant, leaving you feeling inadequate and unsatisfied. There is that constant voice in your head telling you you are not enough or don’t deserve something, creating self-doubt in yourself. If you catch yourself giving reasons for why you can’t do or have the things you want in your life, you are probably too critical of yourself.

In the case of high accomplishments, a self-critical person may ignore those accomplishments resulting in a lack of pride in oneself. When you cannot accept your achievements due to self-doubt, you may find yourself falling into a pattern of self-sabotaging behavior to place a viable excuse to any foreseeable failure.

How to change self-criticism into self-compassion and appreciation?
As kind as you are to others, try your best to give yourself kindness. When the negative thoughts come, counter them with the positive things in your life and constantly remind yourself of your accomplishments. Learn to take the compliments you receive from others and treat yourself and others with grace and forgiveness when mistakes are made.
Every day, remind yourself of the best qualities you possess either by reading aloud before you go to bed or after you wake up.

Pessimism
Some people always tend to view the world on a negative note. The bias spreads from you viewing yourself in a negative light. It never allows you to see anything good in your life, which turns into accepting the negative self-judgment and abuse. These negative thoughts turn into feelings of defeat, worthlessness, and hopelessness, allowing the cycle of self-sabotage to continue.

How to turn negativity into positivity?
Negativity spreads like wildfire. Therefore, to cab it, you must learn to keep the negative observations to yourself. Constantly challenge the negative thoughts crossing your mind with a realistic approach to the world or experiences. After some time, you will gradually shift your perceptions into a positive light.

Procrastination
Pushing deadlines and focusing on unrewarding things while pending projects were universal and ordinary in high school or campus, but it does more harm in adult life. Different people procrastinate for various reasons. Avoidance is of change; a more significant thing or failure is one of the reasons people procrastinate. On the other hand, procrastination is usually a way of running away from making mistakes as a perfectionist.

How to stop procrastinating?
Self-doubt is a trigger for self-sabotage. You must take everything a step at a time and remember that little progress is still progress. Take the mistakes made as a lesson and accept that there is a process to everything.

Imposter syndrome
According to Harvard Business Review, imposter syndrome is defined as a state of feeling inadequate despite evident, well-deserved success. Thinking that you are a fraud or like you are not good enough to earn good things. You may even have a chance at getting a promotion or the job of your dreams but won’t take steps to get it because you believe you cannot thrive
at it.

How to deal with imposter syndrome?
Start by recognizing your capabilities and skills as relevant. Identifying the areas you are good at, and those you are not will help you discover your strong suits and where improvement is needed. In the case of advancement, constantly ask for help from colleagues or your supervisor. Offering to help your colleagues or junior will also go a long way in eradicating fraudulent feelings.

Overindulgence
you may tend to abuse a particular substance as a way to escape the daily pressures of life and work. Over time, it becomes an unhealthy habit you always turn to when things are not going as planned, wasting a lot of time and resources backtracking your progress.

How to avoid overindulgence?
Identify the triggers that drive you into overindulgence. Look for a healthy way of dealing with the daily pressures and stress. For example, exercise or listening to music might be of great help. Avoid the triggers that might get serve as a reminder of your previous indulgence. Lastly, ask for help whenever you cannot handle it on your own.

Conflicts
in your personal and professional relationships, you tend to initiate disputes for several reasons; either fear of getting hurt, an unhealthy way of solving problems, or avoiding rejection. You, therefore, create conflicts to push people away before they break you. This cycle of wars often destroys relationships and keeps you intense situations with people around you.

How to avoid conflicts?
Have honest and open conversations with the people around you. It is also essential to learn to control the urge for confrontation to avoid regrets. Learn how to effectively express your needs with the person you are in a relationship with and allow them to express themselves without judgment openly. These practices help improve the quality of your relationships and life in general.

Conclusion
Change is a lifelong and continuous process that requires a certain level of commitment to achieve. It obviously won’t happen in a day, but it is possible to achieve your highest self with consistency in learning, unlearning, and relearning the defeating behavioral and belief patterns that hold you back.